What I am not: I am not an expert. I am not a counselor. I am not perfect and I don’t have all the answers.
What I am: I am a wife who desires to love my husband well. I am a believer in Jesus and I seek to honor Him with my life first. I am praying constantly for protection over my marriage. I am a mom of three little girls which can make communication hard, alone time extremely minimal, and marriage in general feel so far from what it did in the beginning.
So now that I have made it clear that I don’t have all the answers, I just wanted to share a few small things that I feel are really important in marriage especially in the season of having young kids.
- Spend evenings together.
I know this one might seem obvious, but in the season of little kids when it feels like there is absolutely no time to yourself it’s easy to want to escape at the end of the day for some solitude. I think it’s actually pretty common that spouses spend their evenings apart whether it’s watching different shows or working on separate things. Find a show you both like! Play a game together or just sit and talk! My husband and I will sometimes just sit next to each other and read or have a rare, but much needed date night after we’ve put our girls down for bed. There are absolutely evenings here and there where I escape upstairs to take a bath and have some peace and quiet to refuel my soul, but we most often try to spend our evenings doing something we both enjoy together. - Say thank you for the little things.
It’s so important to express gratitude to one another in marriage. It’s really the little things that add up to the big things. I know I can feel really unappreciated by my kids and that’s because, well, they are kids and they don’t realize how much is being done for them. But, when my husband says, “Hey honey, thanks so much for a great dinner” or “Thanks for doing the laundry” it really means a lot to me. It helps me to feel noticed and like my hard work wasn’t for nothing. - Get interested in each other’s interests.
Remember before you were married when you’d try your best to learn your husband’s favorite sport and cheer them on right along with him?! I do! And somehow marriage happens and you find yourself busy with other things while he sits and watches the game. Jump back in! Buy the cute apparel and ask your husband to teach you more about the game so you can enjoy right along with him! If you enjoy taking walks or going for a jog, ask your husband to join you and let him know that it’s important to you that you spend that time together. Whatever it is, try to enjoy it together! - Schedule sex.
Crazy?! Ehh…if you’re a parent of young kids I don’t think so! As a mom of really little ones, sex is the farthest thing from my mind some days between getting everyone dressed and ready to making multiple meals a day and the long drawn out bedtime routines. It’s hard enough to sneak in a shower most days and with the constant craziness, we can so easily neglect our husbands most important need without even realizing it. I think scheduling times for sex makes sure that it happens. If you don’t have kids, you likely don’t have to do this, but there are so little free moments when you’re a parent and it’s so important to keep this area of our marriages a top priority. - Pray together.
My husband and I have seen huge blessings in our life as a result of our prayer time together. We plan one specific time each week to write our praises and requests in a journal and bring them to God. First off, it is such an incredible way to look back and see all that God has done and the unique ways that He has answered prayers in our lives. Secondly, this is such a intimate time where we can talk through what may have been going on in our hearts throughout the week, but never had time to talk about because of the busyness of normal life. It may feel strange at first, but it really is something that has allowed us to grow closer together.
There you have it! Five simple things that you can begin this week. I hope that these small ways have encouraged your heart and allow you to grow closer to the one that you do life with!!
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