I live under this weight of expectations I create for myself. Pressures I feel regarding how and what I think I should be doing. I constantly wonder if it is right or wrong or enough. Our culture tells us we need to do it all and be it all everywhere we turn. I wonder if I’m teaching my kids well enough and I feel the weight of whether or not they will “turn out”. I take it all on myself; all the things that I am not meant to carry. I find myself doing this time and time again. It’s like I’m pulling a huge heavy cart while carrying a backpack and gripping onto whatever else I can manage; I know it’s too heavy and that it’s not a load I can bear on my own, so I begin to hand things over little by little, but never completely.
So I carry on this journey weighted down, weary and seemingly alone because I think that I can manage it all on my own. I can’t. I give it over to You and then somewhere along the journey I start taking it all back. “ I got it! I can handle that, Lord. Don’t worry about it. I can carry that too.” So I walk a little ways carrying all these things and I’m gripping so tight so I don’t drop anything. I stumble and fall, but I try to get back up and adjust my heavy load, moving things around and shifting things a bit to make it more manageable just to realize that it may make it easier for a bit, but I’m just waiting until I fall on my face again. It’s too much to bear, too long of a journey to take on my own and too heavy to carry on my own. And as I glance beside me I see You walking along with me… Waiting to carry it all, waiting for me to notice and remember that You’ve been there all along.
With gentle eyes and a tender voice You say, “ The load is too heavy for you to bear alone… You weren’t meant to carry it on your own” as you reach your arms to take the load I grip a little tighter. “But, Lord, these are the most precious things in my life… I’m not ready to give them up.” You reply, “If they are precious to you, think of how precious they are to me.” As I loosen my grip, I look into your eyes and say, “Are you sure? I don’t want to lose anything.” You reach to take hold of all that has been weighing me down; “Trust me! It’s better this way. It’s meant to be this way.”
I give in. I open my arms and hand it all over. Relief comes over my body and I quickly realize how heavy it really was. How did I think I could ever carry it on my own? I look over to see Him handling everything I gave him with such care and I’m not sure how, but he makes it look easy. Like it’s nothing for Him to carry. And as he puts the last thing on his back he still has an open hand. With His open hand He reaches out to me. “Come on. My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30)
*This was my prayer journal entry from 3/25/22 – God gave me this picture in my mind as I was spending time with Him and feeling weighed down by the pressures of life. So many beautiful blessings He has given me and things He has called me into and yet the pressure has felt real and weighty. He reminds me that He didn’t call me into these things to do them all on my own. He walks with me and He carries every little and big part of my life. I hope that if you feel weighed down by life’s pressures, burdens or sin that you are carrying that this is a reminder that you aren’t meant to carry it alone and you never were meant to carry it alone. Praise God! We serve a God who wants to step in and bear it all. He goes before and behind and walks beside us through all of life’s journey. May we know Him and experience the lightness and joy that He brings.
Thanks.